Jennifer Johnson Is Sick of Being Single by Heather McElhatton

Author:Heather McElhatton
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Publisher: HarperCollins

I have to borrow money from my parents. Well, from my dad actually, because no way was I going to ask my mom. It’s his money, anyway; he’s worked at the insurance agency his entire life. How did Mom get such a good deal going? Where are men like my dad now? The ones who are breadwinners and come home from work and put on their slippers and smoke a pipe silently while reading the paper? All you had to do was make them a Manhattan and serve a hot casserole every night, maybe have a kid every two and a half years and that was that. Your bills were paid.

“I’ll pay you back, Dad,” I say, standing in his den. “Promise.”

“Don’t worry about it, sweetie,” he says. “My pleasure.”

“Really. I will. I just need some money to…”

He holds up his hand to stop me. “You’re a grown woman,” he says. “You do what you want with it.”

“I just have some new expenses. That’s all.”

He looks up at me. “You’re all right, though?”

“Yes. It’s nothing bad. I don’t need a doctor or anything.”

“Well, good,” he says, going back to his paper. “Your mother would enjoy someone in the family getting a disease too much.”

“Thanks, Dad.” I kiss him on the head. He smells like tobacco and lime aftershave and love. I wish I could ask him a few things about men, but it isn’t really like that between us. I’m just glad he’s still here, braving the den.

Of course the money he gives me is gone in an instant. Already spent. My spending has gone way up, which is weird because even though I grease palms and sneak tips, Brad pays for absolutely everything. He has seriously never even let me get near a check. It could be because I’ve been buying a lot more outfits and more expensive makeup and even more expensive hydrating lotions. I don’t care how much a new face lotion costs, I’ll try it, because, let’s face it, after a certain age, it’s all about hydration.

I even got an expensive personalized “love Tarot reading” online for eighty bucks. Stupid, I know, especially since it told me Brad and I are totally wrong for each other. If I could just calm down about him, get comfortable, not feel so jumpy about him leaving me for another girl, maybe I would spend less. But how can I spend less when he may be the last living breadwinner in America? A man who would gladly and easily pay all his wife’s bills? When am I going to meet another one of those in Minnesota?

I’m not. That’s when.

I just need to balance my expenses more. Cut down on food and gas. Maybe drag the Weber grill into my living room and heat my apartment with a small, ongoing fire. I have to do something, cut back somewhere, but where? I tried to start one of those bill-paying programs that track where your money goes and generate a morbid-looking pie

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